


a white shirt over your bloody heart

by sarahjhutch



Category: One Direction
Genre: M/M, Past Liam Payne/Louis Tomlinson, Past Relationship(s), Ziall Horlik, larry - Freeform, larry stylinson - Freeform, london mafia, mafia, mafia!Zayn, ziall
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-28
Updated: 2014-07-03
Packaged: 2017-12-24 21:42:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/944981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarahjhutch/pseuds/sarahjhutch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Niall is desperately trying to get by while living with his mate, Liam, when he meets a mysterious, dark stranger. </p><p>Zayn Malik unwittingly drags him into his world of deceit and secrets. </p><p>Along with his friends, and partners, Harry and Louis, Zayn rules the London Mafia with an iron fist, and until he meets Niall, he's cold and heartless.</p><p>"Don't let me darken the nights you sleep,<br/>Don't let me into the thoughts you keep.<br/>See, you owe no sympathy to me."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. a lead weight for your open palm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’re not, um, ordinary are you?” He gasps as the tall boy laughs, winking at him before running his hands through his hair.
> 
> “Not necessarily a bad thing though, right Niall?” Niall shakes his head furiously, backing up out of the alleyway, “I’m not gonna hurt you, sunshine, you’re too cute for that.”

“Yes Li, I’ll get your feckin’ mail on me way up to yah.” Niall murmurs into the phone, cursing but sounding too fond to be taken seriously. The voice on the phone gives a gravelly _thanks, mate_ before ending their call.

“Yeah, yeah, love you too.” He says under his breath, chuckling to himself as he pockets his phone and turns his attention to the rest of the bus.

They’ve just stopped at a sketchier part of town and Niall always feels a little tense on the bus, but he hasn’t got that much money, and it brings him where he needs to be. Work, then to the Grocery store, then to his apartment building, where he shares a flat with his mate, Liam. Well, fuck, the prettiest boy Niall has ever seen steps onto the bus and he does everything in his power to not let his jaw drop. He’s lanky with wiry muscles, tattoos on darkened skin and his face is brushed with dark stubble, his hair styled into a perfect quaff. The man is all tattoos and long, skinny limbs. He makes his way to the back of the bus, keeping his head down, and Niall realizes with a start that the dark stranger is making his way towards him. He seats himself just across the aisle from Niall, and digs in his pocket for his phone before finding it and placing it in his lap, tightening his hands around it like it holds the secret to the universe.

The way he’s staring at it though, it probably does.

Niall notices after a few moments that his knuckles are bloodied and bruised and he’s sporting a cut on his cheek. The cut is bleeding, dripping crimson red down his skin with no sign of stopping. Without a thought, Niall digs into his pocket and grabs a cloth, reaching across the aisle to press it to the man’s cheek. The man startles and grabs Niall’s wrist, yanking his hand away from his face with force. He turns to Niall with a look of pure hate, his eyes and grimace dripping venom.

“I…I- sorry.” He mutters, his hand still held out, holding the bloody cloth. His cheeks are slowly filling with blush and he ducks his head, embarrassed.

“Ah, you’re blushing.” The man says, and his voice is every bit as perfect as his body is. It’s rough and soft, with mockery laced in every word.

“I’m not!” He obviously is.

“Sure love, hand me that cloth will ya?” The mysterious man says, taking the cloth from Niall’s hand and gently dabbing at his cheek, wincing every so often.

“Must hurt, huh? How’d you get somethin’ like that?”

“Don’t worry, the other guy is plenty worse.” He says, giving Niall a grin before pocketing the cloth and checking his phone.

“Wha-“

“I’ve got it all bloodied up, don’t want to have you touchin’ my blood.” He says, patting his pocket.

His phone buzzes then, knocking them out of their reverie, and his eyes dart to it, checking the name before answering it with a gruff Harry.

“Fuck mate, I’m on the goddamn bus, where in the bloody fuck were you?” Niall faces forward again, but focuses on the conversation going on, noting that the man composure has completely changed, and he’s livid with whomever he’s talking to.

“Pick me up on 2nd, and tell Louis to not distract you again. For fucks sake Harry, good thing I like you.” He growls, before letting out a deep sigh, hanging up the phone.

Moments later the bus screeches to a stop, and the mysterious man stands up to get off the bus. Turning his attention to Niall, he clears his throat.

“What’s your name?”

“Er- Niall.” He stammers, confused.

“Mines Zayn, see you around Niall.” He murmurs, giving him a small smile before walking down the aisle. He waves to Niall, nodding at him before the bus doors close behind him.

Niall forgets his stop and has to walk back in the cold London air, he’s so distracted that he also forgets Liam’s mail. Liam only forgives him when he notices Niall sneezing and asks him why, laughing at his response and curling into his side with a huge fleece blanket and a cup of tea.

Zayn’s 'see you around' apparently meant that Niall would be seeing him several days later, but under completely different circumstances. Liam had just been fired from his job that he didn’t really like that much, but kind of really needed. So they went out for a drink, obviously Niall’s treat. Instead, Liam ending up going home with some girl; leaving Niall one beer in and all alone. The bar was rundown and small, lacking the allure of other bars in their area. It wasn’t in the safest neighborhood, but they were fans of a cheap drink. He ran into Zayn on his way home from the bar. Niall could hear the sounds of a fight, British accents mixing with incoherent yelling and the sound of flesh on flesh, and flesh on concrete. As he rounded the corner, Niall spotted three men standing over two bodies, knocked unconscious.

“Oi, what the hell- oh.” Niall yelled, pausing in front of Zayn and the two other men.

“Niall!” His face lit up, a small smile gracing his lips.

“Hullo Zayn, what’s going on?” He stares at Zayn, his eyes flickering every so often to the two unconscious men.

The two men that are flanking either side of Zayn are attempting to clean themselves up. The tall, curly haired one has blood all over his mouth that the shorter one is trying to clean off. The shorter ones shirt is dotted with blood and Niall grimaces, stepping back, away from the three.

“Just a bitta trouble love, nothing t’ worry about.”

“I-“ he murmurs, his voice catching in his throat.

“What is it, Niall?” He steps toward Niall, reaching a hand toward him, but Niall flinches back, reaching for his phone.

“You’re not, um, ordinary are you?” He gasps as the tall boy laughs, winking at him before running his hands through his hair.

“Not necessarily a bad thing though, right Niall?” Niall shakes his head furiously, backing up out of the alleyway, “I’m not gonna hurt you, sunshine, you’re too cute for that.”

"Somehow, I find that hard to believe, covered in blood like you are." He snaps, backing up further into the street.

"Don't worry, we only hurt people who disobey us- well, Zayn really, surely you wont?" The shorter man says, his voice soft and lilting without an inch of malice unlike Zayns.

"I don't, er what?"

"Honest to fuck, tell the kid, he's gonna piss himself and run off to the cops. They'll just laugh in his face, so tell em." The curly haired one says, planting a hand on Zayns shoulder.

"Ever heard of the name Malik, Niall?" Zayn says, his face already apologetic.

"Holy fuck, no." He whispers, the fucking mafia, oh fuck fuck _fuck_.

"Sadly yes, pleasure to meet you, I'm Zayn Malik, and London belongs to me." He says, almost proudly, gauging Nialls reaction.

"You...you rode the bus!" He splutters, his cheeks flushed.

The two men behind Zayn erupt into laughter, wheezing and whispering the word bus, over and over, while clutching their stomachs.

"Oh shut it, you two."

"Sorry Z, too funny." The tall one slurs, clutching his stomach.

"This one here is Harry, the twat that didn't pick me up because he was too busy fucking this one, Louis." He points at the curly haired one first then the shorter one, both having the decency to look a little ashamed.

"But, at least I had the pleasure of meeting you Niall, you're quite adorable." He coos, reaching up to touch Nialls cheek.

"I'm not adorable." He crosses his arms and frowns, staring at Zayn.

"Ah fuck, your face begs to differ." He smiles.

The men lying in a heap behind them stir and mumble, jolting the group back into reality. Zayn turns to Harry and Louis, whispering orders as they nod affirmation, walking back into the darkness to collect the men.

"I'm going to have to leave you now Niall, be sure to stay on the streets, it gets awfully dangerous around here." He chuckles at his own private joke, looking back as Harry and Louis hoist the men over their shoulders and walk further into the alley.

"Give me your phone first." Zayn says, plucking Nialls phone from the back of his jeans. He fiddles with it a moment before returning it to Niall, leaning forward to whisper in his ear.

"Promise you'll text?" He whispers, hot breath ticking Niall's ear.

He presses a soft kiss to Niall's cheek before turning and walking into the alley, pulling his phone up to his ear.

"Promise." Niall murmurs into the dark.


	2. get you dancing with the devil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zayn’s so close to him, body to body, his mouth on Niall’s neck pressing wet kisses to his skin, nipping and sucking. 
> 
> Niall is completely wrecked.

Niall does text him after, once when he’s watching the news and see’s that there’s been a gang attack.

He sends Zayn a hurried ‘ _that wasn’t you guys, was it?_ ’, receiving a response later that night with a simple ‘ _stop worrying_ ’. He does worry though, he worries all the time, and for the life of him he can’t figure out why he cares so much about Zayn. That’s how they work for a long time, inquiring about each other’s lives several times a week. _‘What are you doing in uni?’ ‘Music theory’_ , to the more somber ‘ _I saw the news, you’re not dead right?’ ‘I’m fine, business as usual.’_ That’s what he always calls it, _‘business_ ’.

Some responses are lighter than others, but it’s the answers like that that have Niall pacing his room and failing to sleep through the night.

 

* * *

 

“You’re not falling asleep on me already?” Niall yawns, laughing into the phone.

“Sorry Zayn ‘m tired.” Nialls eyes are half open and he’s cuddled into his sheets, nursing the phone against his ear, on the other side of the phone Zayn groans.

“Working late again?” He asks, concern laced in his voice.

“Mhmm.” He voices, barely awake enough to answer.

“Just quit then Ni, you hate it there.” Niall groans.

“If I quit, I won’t have a job, so I wont be able to pay me bills.”

“Ah fuck Niall, wish you’d let me help.” It’s a lost cause though, it’s been months since they’ve started talking, but Niall refuses Zayn’s help just like always.

“I’m not taking your fekkin’ drug money Zayn, it’s dirty.” He growls, his voice laden with sleep.

“Ni-“ Niall cuts him off, “Just leave it okay, ‘m goin’ t’ bed.” He turns his phone off and rolls over, turning the light off and falling into an uneasy sleep.

 

* * *

 

“Ally, can you get this order!” Niall yells over his shoulder, pointing to his screen on the register.

“Got it, Nialler!” she answers peeking over his shoulder and rustling his hair as she does so. He blushes furiously and the customer laughs before handing over the correct change.

It’s early in the morning and they’ve already got businessmen and women streaming in through the doors of the café, eager for their coffee. The coffee shop is Niall’s favorite job, the only one where he get’s to work with people he likes. Mornings are always rushed, and Niall always takes the morning shifts because it gets him the most tips in the jar, he’s got a smile that can light up a room and a voice that soothes people. It’s nearing 10 am when he’s coming up on his first break after opening the café at 6, he’s undoing his apron behind the counter when he hears a slow voice offer him help.

“Oh no, I’m sure I’ve got i- Harry.” He startles, staring over the counter at the tall, curly headed friend of Zayn’s.

“Hey sunshine, didn’t know you worked here.” He grins and Niall knows it’s a lie; he stares past Harry looking for Louis or Zayn.

“Zayn and Louis are outside, in case you’re wondering.” He says cheekily, jerking a thumb over his shoulder.

“Brilliant” he grumbles, “tell Zayn to stop stalking me, will you? I’m not taking his money.”

“He’s just checking in, mate, not stalking.”

“So that’s what you call it.” He mutters, pulling his apron off with a final exasperated sigh, “’m goin’ on my break Ally, Matt.”

“Kay Niall, don’t keep the cute boy waiting!” She yells from the drive-thru window, and Matt throws him a smile from the register, taking the apron from Niall and shoving him gently out around the counter toward Harry.

“Ally!” he sighs, before following Harry outside into the brisk London air, cursing his absence of a warm enough coat.

Niall had almost ( _almost_ ) forgotten how fucking gorgeous Zayn was, and how unfair it was.

He realizes he’s gaping at him several moments later when Louis laughs at him, a high tinkling noise that has Harry beaming at him with a look that could only read as complete adoration. He noticed it the first time he met them, the way Harry watched Louis with eyes like a hawk, and the way Louis gravitated towards him like a moon. He wants that with someone, and even though Zayn scares him, he can’t help but want something like that with him. He wants his arms tight around his waist and his hands carding through his hair, he wants to touch and take and never let go. He has to remind himself over and over again that Zayn is dangerous, one of the most dangerous men in London, but still, he wants him with a deep ache.

“Uh, hullo Zayn.” Fuck he’s blushing like a cherry and Zayn watches him, his hair peeking out under a dark grey beanie. He’s got a small smile playing on his lips and Niall melts in front of him, watching his lips form his words and wishing they were his to touch.

“Hi Niall, how’ve you been?” He knows how I’ve been, Niall thinks, we text everyday.

“Uh good?”

“Just good?” Zayn asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Well yes I suppose, good.” He says, confused.

“Brilliant, so what would you say if I could make your day even better?” Zayn smirks and Niall sighs, running a hand through his rumpled hair.

“I’m not taking your money!” He stomps his foot furiously like a child and turns to walk back into the café, fuming.

“Not that Ni, you're going clubbing with us, tonight.”

That gets Niall, he stands there gaping, his mouth wide open.

“What?”

“You heard him.” Louis snaps, playfully but with a serious undertone. You don’t say no to Zayn Malik, you just don’t without consequences.

“Where, when? I don’t have anything to wear!?” Niall splutters, his mouth running a mile a minute. Zayn just chuckles and relays the information so Niall can meet them.

He stands up, walking towards Niall and leans close to his ear, brushing his lips across his cheek. “Whatever you wear will be perfect, love.” He murmurs, his breath hot on Niall’s ear, and as he leans back he pauses for a moment before pressing his lips lightly to Niall’s cheek.

They’re gone after that, disappearing into a black car with tinted windows, and Niall is left on the sidewalk spluttering and overwhelmed, his cheeks feeling hot as he runs his fingers lightly over where Zayn kissed him.

When he arrives at the club he’s already begun to sweat from the close proximity everyone seems to be in. Niall hasn’t gone clubbing since he turned 19, it doesn’t stay quite as fun when you’re drinking legally. He makes his way over to the bar and orders a beer, scanning the crowd for Zayn. He watches from his seat at the bar, bodies rutting against bodies, it’s practically sex on the dance floor. Niall wants to do this with Zayn; he’d give anything to touch Zayn intimately, sexually. He spots Harry and Louis then, the tallest of the town standing behind Louis, his hand possessively around his waist as he orders their drinks. Louis leans into him, a smile playing on his lips as he leans up to brush his lips against Harrys once they get their drinks. Zayn is sitting at a table they’ve begun to walk toward, a beer in his hand and a woman seated next to him. Niall feels jealousy rise in the pit of his stomach and he curses himself internally, walking over to the table.

“Niall!” Zayn exclaims, beaming up at him from his seat. The girl to his side smiles sweetly, giving him a once over before nodding slightly. She’s short from what he can tell, with blonde hair and bright eyes that watch him sit down on the other side of Zayn. God, she’s gorgeous, with pale skin and a dazzling smile.

“Hi.” He blushes, bring his beer to his lips.

“Meet Perrie, my…” there’s a pause, and Zayn stares her up and down, darting his eyes to Niall and back to Perrie, “associate.”

“I run his books Niall, nothing more. I don’t suppose it’s much of a secret from Niall, Zayn?” Niall sighs and she giggles, tapping her nails on the tables.

“I would like to keep a low profile Pez.” He grumbles.

“Oops.” She grins, no shame written on her face. She laughs before grasping Niall’s hand in her own, “It’s been a pleasure meeting you.”

“Er, same to you.” He says, smiling back at her before downing his beer.

An hour or two passes and Niall is properly hammered, his words slurred and his actions towards Zayn a little more than inappropriate. Zayn tugs his hand, whiskey dancing on his breath, towards the dance floor and he follows obediently. Zayn pulls him into him and Niall touches him, placing his hands on his chest and running over it before moving to his back, fingers running over the tight muscles. Zayn mutters words into his ear that he has a hard time understanding but he knows their intent, and they sound filthy all the same. His hands are resting just over his ass, his fingers playing with the top of Nialls jeans, dipping under to press against flushed skin.

Zayn’s so close to him, body to body, his mouth on Niall’s neck pressing wet kisses to his skin, nipping and sucking.

Niall is completely wrecked.

This is everything he’s been dreaming of, every touch and whimper from Zayn is electric. It ends as quickly as it started, with Zayn being wrenched off a confused Niall by Louis, his lips drawn in a tight line.

“Business, Z.” His voice is low and ominous.

Zayn throws Niall a fleeting glance before sighing and grabbing his hand, yanking him along after them. They walk briskly through the crowd, Louis stopping a moment to gather Harry, leaning up to whisper in his ear before brushing his fingers over his hand. They don’t hold hands like Zayn and Niall, but they still seem connected by an invisible string. Niall follows them out into the night, the air cool against his face as they halt in front of a black car. Zayn squeezes his hand tight before letting go and getting into the car. Niall follows obediently, curled up into Zayn as the car takes off into the dark night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope this is okay??? please tell me if it is, and if i should keep going, or maybe give me different angles this could go!? i love input!


	3. building faith on love and words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fuck it, Niall thinks, and he jolts forward, crashing his lips on Zayn’s, clashing teeth and pulling at his lips.

The car tears through the streets of London and Zayn and Louis talk in hushed whispers, the words 'Josh' and 'Devine' being thrown around over and over. Nialls pocket vibrates from where he’s leaning against Zayn; his hand is clasped in Zayn’s olive skinned one while his eyes are plastered to Zayn’s face, watching his every move, listening to his every word.

“Ah fuck,” he mumbles, leaning away so he can root through his pocket to reach his phone. As he answers the call he catches a glimpse of his missed calls and messages, they're all from Liam and Niall feels an uneasiness settle in his gut.

“Hullo?”

“Niall!” Liam yells into the phone, his voice exasperated and pleading, he sounds scared and angry all at the same time.

“Li? What’s wrong?” Zayn raises his eyebrows at Niall and he blushes furiously, casting his eyes down to his lap.

“Why don’t you tell me? I came home from work to find you missing! It’s 3 am Nialler, I was terrified.” Niall groans, passing a hand through his hair.

“I’m sorry, I forgot t call you or leave a note or somethin’ mate, I’ll be home soon I swear.” He stares at Zayn until he gets a short nod which he smiles at.

“Just come home okay…I don’t want to lose you too, okay?” Liam says, no longer sounding angry, just sad.

“Liam, I promise I’m not goin’ anywhere okay? I aint leavin’ you for anythin’.” He says, his throat thick with unshed tears. Liam’s been hurting and he’s been out getting drunk and having a laugh, he feels like dirt.

“Alright Ni, love you.” Liam whispers, his voice cracking with what Niall recognizes as crying.

“Love you too.” He murmurs, ending the call and groaning into his hands.

Harry and Louis turn to look at him then, their eyes darting between him and Zayn. Niall feels like he’s going to throw up, there’s a look of pity and disgust crossing over their faces and he hates it, hates them both. But he really doesn’t, he admires how they are together, and he likes how protective they are towards each other and Zayn. He taps Zayn on the knee and clears his throat.

“Can you bring me home, I can’t come with you…my friend needs me right now.” He mumbles, cursing himself over and over.

“Hey love, hey,” Zayn places a finger under his chin and angles his face up to his, “I was gonna drop you off on the way, where we’re headed…that’s no place for you, alright?” He doesn't know why, but those words hurt him to his core.

He’s mad now, pissed even, at Zayn’s look of pity, eyeing him like a child and telling him he doesn’t belong with him, isn’t allowed to be. He jerks away from Zayn, pulling his chin away from Zayn’s fingers, leaving them frozen in the air for a moment. Zayn sighs and turns his head back to the window, watching the lights fly by. Louis answers a phone call then, talking in a hushed voice and his stare goes blank as his grip on Harry’s knee tightens.

“Zayn.” Harry says quietly.

“What?” He snaps, and turns towards Harry, his eyes gone cold and his lip curled up into a snarl. He looks almost feral now and Niall see’s the Zayn that everyone is afraid of, the man who runs everything. He’s got eyes and ears everywhere, and nothing escapes him.

“Devine cut off the shore transfer.” Louis says gravely, and Zayn runs a hand through his quaff.

“Fuck.” Harry murmurs, his hand curling into a fist as he punches the seat in front of him, his shoulders tense.

“What is that fucker doing… walking my fucking streets, putting his dirty hands on my fucking shit?” Zayn mutters, his voice low and cold.

The air bristles with static energy and Niall eyes him warily, and once again he feels like a child compared to him, he feels so small and scared. Zayn dials a number into his phone and sneers into it, his voice icy, and his words dripping poison.

“You find him and bring him to me, understood Grimmy? He’s dead.” Zayn ends the call without an answer, he doesn’t need one, Zayn trusts his men.

The rest of the drive is quiet and full of tension, and when they pull to a stop in front of Nialls complex, he lets out a small sigh of relief. Zayn follows him to the door of the building, and watches him fiddle with his keys as he finds the right one. Niall gives him a soft smile before turning the key and pulling the door open, stepping on the muddy carpet. Zayn snatches his wrist and holds him still; Niall turns to stare at him with expectant eyes. He expects the same cold Zayn from the car, instead he gets a tired man whose eyes look years older than the rest of him.

“I’m sorry Ni, I am.” He mumbles, pulling his hand up to trail his fingers along Nialls jaw.

“Be careful okay, just… promise you won’t get hurt.” Niall says to him, pleading with his eyes.

“You know I don’t make promises I can’t keep, love.” Zayn says, quietly as his hand rests on Nialls cheek.

Fuck it, Niall thinks, and he jolts forward, crashing his lips on Zayn’s, clashing teeth and pulling at his lips. It’s anything but soft, filled with desperation and want, but it’s perfect and he moans into Zayn’s mouth, nipping at his bottom lip.

“Niall…” Zayn sighs breathlessly when they disconnect, gasping for air.

“Be careful okay?” He mumbles through swollen lips, his lungs desperate for air.

“I’ll try.” He mutters and then Niall is gone, disappearing down the dimly lit hall.

When Niall opens the door to his shared flat, a body attaches itself to him, knocking the wind out of him. Liam is latched onto him and sniffling like a child, mumbling incoherent words into Nialls ear as he leads them towards the couch.

“Li, Li I’m here, I’m here.”

“Niiiiiaaaaallll.” He whines, burying his head into the space between his shoulder and neck.

“Sorry I’m such an idiot.” He mumbles, running his hand over Liam’s short hair, squeezing is tightly against his body.

Liam sits back then and nods at him, his eyes red rimmed but bright and a smile widening on his face. He sniffles once, and yawns while rubbing his eyes.

“I promise to call next time okay, Li? You know I’m sorry right?”

“Yeh mate, don’t worry, lets go to bed.” Liam mumbles, getting up from the couch and retreating to his room. Niall follows him, turning the opposite way to reach his room, throwing himself on the bed.

“You’re telling me about the mysterious guy in the morning, moron!” He hears Liam yell and he laughs into his pillow.

\--------------------------------------------

Niall spends the next morning looking up the Malik’s at the library, trying to figure out all the tiny details that Zayn won’t tell him. He realizes that Louis is the underboss to Zayn, second in command basically, and that Harry is a soldier, along with the Grimmy that Zayn was commanding on the phone. Harry holds a higher position than the rest of the soldiers because of his relationship with Louis. He reads with a heavy heart about the death of Zayn’s mother and sisters, who were shot down in their home when his father and him were away.

He stumbles across a picture of Zayn standing solemnly next to his father at their funeral, his eyes red rimmed but no tears in sight. Another articles surfaces then about the death of Zayn’s father, which resulted in Zayn taking over his position as the don. He shivers, flicking through news articles, staring at image after image of Zayn, Harry and Louis.

Zayn hasn't told him anything, and he wonders how much more Zayn can hide from him until he gets in too deep with no way out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry there's like only a bit of ziall in this but i wanted to work in liam and niall's friendship? if you haven't noticed already, i added some more tags...sneaky.


	4. if it brings me to my knees, it’s a bad religion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Except it’s not okay, it’s never okay when Niall is sad.

Zayn doesn’t text or call him for weeks.

Niall freaks out for three straight days, his mind running on autopilot, flowing with thoughts of Zayn. He pictures Zayn stabbed through, or shot in the chest, and he cries angry, hot tears that don’t stop til his body gives up and lets him fall asleep. Liam watches him with a heavy heart, a heart that knows heartbreak better than anyone. Niall drinks when he’s sad, or stressed, or angry, or anything really, he’s Irish. He drinks the hard stuff when he’s a mix of sad and angry, downing rum with splashes of coke. 3 am glasses of rum know all his secrets, and Liam does too, his heart cracking at the sound of Niall’s sobs coming through the thin walls of their flat.

Liam takes it upon himself to figure out what the hell is making Niall so sad, checking his phone when he’s not around, listening in while he cries. It just makes him sadder, all of Nialls texts have been deleted and he’s stopped crying, staying in bed for hours on end until he has to drag himself to work.

“Hey Nialler, can you tell me what’s wrong?” Liam blurts one evening when Niall is curled up against him on the couch, nursing an empty mug that held tea in his hands.

“I-I dunno Li, I just don’t know.” Niall murmurs and his voice breaks as he sobs into Liam’s shoulder, the mug rolling from his fingertips to the floor.

“Please Nialler, I need to help you mate.” Liam begs, pulling Niall onto his lap, cradling his head in the crook of his shoulder.

“Y’know that guy the dropped me off that night? The one I went to the club with?”

“Yeah mate,” Liam sighs, burying his nose into the soft tendrils of Nialls hair.

Niall launches into his story then, explaining how Zayn was amazing and made him feel special and how he was so damn beautiful it made his hands shake and his head hurt. He leaves out the details of Zayn’s profession, knowing Liam would blow up at that. He then visits the day Harry and Louis and Zayn came to the coffee shop and invited him out. He explains that he got caught up in the lights and the music and Zayn. They left and Niall starts on how Zayn started to look distant and regretful, even where Niall was leaning against him, his hand playing with the bottom of Zayn’s shirt.

“He… Liam he told me I had no place with him, I didn’t belong with him,” He sniffles, wrapping tighter around Liam, “He kissed me too, when he dropped me off and I thought it was amazing and we were good, y’know? I thought he’d be the one that stayed.”

Liam doesn’t really have an answer, his throat tightening at how broken Niall sounds. He hates this Zayn guy, wants to get his hands on him, will do anything to punish him for how he’s treated Niall.

“Shush babe, it’s gon’ be okay.” He doesn’t sound sure though, and Niall pulls at his shirt and sobs into it, leaving a wet spot on the shoulder.

Except it’s not okay, it’s never okay when Niall is sad. He’s a light that guides Liam home when he breaks up with someone, or they leave him. He was there when Liam was cut from his first job and thought he was going to lose everything. He was there when Liam discovered he liked boy parts just as much as girl parts and hated everything about himself because he wasn’t like the other guys. He was there when Liam’s first boyfriend disappeared and didn’t come back. Liam needs Niall and Niall needs Liam. So Liam takes initiative, stealing Nialls phone while he’s in the shower and scrolling through his contacts, looking for the infamous Zayn.

He finds him under ‘Zayn <3’, and it crushes his heart a little and he almost puts the phone back where he found it. He doesn’t though; he calls Zayn up and presses the phone to his air as he waits while it rings.

“Ni…” The voice on the other end grumbles, sounding distant.

“This is Niall’s friend Liam, I just wanted to say a few things.” Zayn stays quiet, but there’s noises heard on the other line and the distinct click of a door shutting.

“You’ve done Niall in, he’s a wreck and I’m not completely sure what you’ve done but you’ve got to fix it, understood? He’s fucking taken with you, and I can bet that you are too. Niall is that easy to fall for.” Liam half yells, and the voice on the other line chokes back a sob.

“Shit, I never meant to get him in this far.” Zayn’s voice cracks and he sounds so pathetic Liam almost forgives him.

“What the fuck man, it’s Niall we’re talking about!” Liam snaps and Zayn cringes back from the phone, sinking to the floor of his office.

“I…I’ll come see him okay, just don’t expect everything to be sunshine and rainbows okay? I need to fix this… fuck, fuck.” The voice mumbles, before ending the call and Liam’s left gaping at the phone, trying to figure out what the hell is going to happen next.

Liam returns Niall’s phone back to the kitchen counter and paces their flat, waiting for Niall to get out of the shower. When he does get out of the bathroom he’s got his boxers slung low on his hips and he’s toweling at his hair, a red blush spread over his cheeks from the heat.

“Nialler?” Liam asks and he’s going to regret this so badly, but he’s got to do it.

“Yeah, Li?” he answers, eying him with curiosity.

“Zayn’s coming to visit.” He can practically hear Nialls jaw hit the floor.

“What the…what the fuck did you do.” Niall snaps and he looks ridiculous, standing in the kitchen in his boxers with his hair sticking off at every end.

“I’m sorry Ni, you were so sad and-,” he begs but Niall just holds up a hand and his words fade into silence.

“Just don’t Liam, I don’t need him coming ‘round to say goodbye.” He says and his eyes start to water.

Niall goes back to his room and cries for hours to Liam’s dismay, he even cooks him supper and Niall refuses to touch it.

“Sorry, Ni-Ni.” Liam mumbles to Nialls closed door and he gets no response so he returns to the living room and curls up on the couch with a cup of team and a heavy heart.

The flat is quiet for hours after that, until 9 pm rolls around and a knock rings against their door. It’s loud and rushed and Liam can tell who it is when he pulls himself off the couch and wipes the sleep out of his eyes.

“Zayn.”

“You must be Liam, is Niall in?” He asks timidly and Liam nods yes, before pointing towards Nialls room and closing the door behind Zayn. He settles back onto the couch with his knees pulled up to his chest as he watches Zayn slip into Nialls room.

\-------------------------------------------

Zayn enters the darkness of Nialls room and inhales slowly, his eyes travelling to Nialls sleeping form, his chest rising and falling with each breath he takes. He walks slowly to his bed and leans over, running his fingers through Nialls hair and whispers to him.

“Niall.” He jerks awake, his eyes darting to see what woke him up.

Niall rubs his eyes with the back of his hand and Zayn almost coos at how adorable Niall looks, sleep laying heavy on his eyes and his hair unruly and drooping in front of his eyes.

"Li...you're not Liam." He snaps, pushing his hands against Zayn's chest and shoving against him, shuffling to the other side of his bed.

"Sorry, Ni." He says, and Niall winces.

"Why the hell are you in my room? Are you actually stalking me now!? Fuck-"

"I'm not stalking you, you idiot, I'm sure Liam told you he called me?" Zayn says, his voice carrying a joking tone.

"Oh, right." He mumbles.

"Listen Niall, I'm sorry about that night-" He starts, but Niall cuts him off with a strangled noise.

"Oh shut up, you're just here to say goodbye aren't you?" Niall says, biting his lip to keep back the angry tears that are beginning to surface.

"Ni-"

Niall crawls across the bed and places his hands on Zayn chest, staring up into his eyes from where he's kneeling on the bed in ratty sweatpants and and old t-shirt.

"You're not leaving okay, you're not leaving whatever we have together. I'm sick and tired of people like you, so just stay please?" He bites out, accenting each word with a weak punch to Zayn's chest.

"Niall, I know-"

"Please stay? I know you feel it too, okay, we have something special." He's begging now, his hands resting on Zayns chest as he stares at the space in between them, fighting how much he wants to close it.

"Niall, I feel it too, god, I feel it everyday and it hurts...my heart hurts so bad for you, Niall. But-" He sighs as Niall cuts him off again.

"No 'buts' Zayn, just stay and", Niall murmurs as he leans forward so he's face to face with Zayn, their noses touching, "everything will work out."

Their lips crash together and it feels so right. Niall nips at Zayns lower lip and he moans as Niall slips his tongue into his open mouth, licking around every part of his mouth, mapping it out like he only has moments left. Truth be told, it's kind of like he does, he doesn't know if Zayn will leave or if he'll stay any longer; he could disappear again and leave Niall all alone again.

They pause for breath and Niall leans his forehead against Zayns, their breath mingling as they stay in silence.

"I'll stay." Zayn murmurs to Niall and that's all the confirmation he needs as he catches Zayns plush lips in another kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im not really sure what im doing with this okay guys it's gonna be long and theres gonna be lots of angst and eventually smut okay sorry if it sucks
> 
> comments/kudos would be nice! x


	5. call me sin and break my heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His mind hates him for breaking his own heart by letting Zayn in.

Zayn slips out of bed silently in the morning and Niall watches him go through tear filled eyes, he curses himself for crying when Zayn kisses his forehead and brushes his thumb across Nialls cheek.

“Shhh, babe, I’ll be back okay?” He whispers and Niall is desperate to believe him.

Niall catches his lips in a kiss and Zayn returns it eagerly, a soft growl in the back of his throat. Zayn whispers him a small goodbye and Niall smiles but his heart wrenches and he explodes into silent sobs when the door closes.

His mind hates him for breaking his own heart by letting Zayn in.

He drags himself out of bed an hour later and sidles out into the kitchen where Liam is already seated there, nursing a cup of tea. He hands another silently to Niall and smiles at him warily, and he sighs gently when Niall smiles back at him and it actually looks genuine for once. He returns to his room and flicks the light on, placing his cup of tea on his bedside table. He grabs his guitar from on top of his dresser and sits cross-legged on the floor, and he strums it with the surety that comes from years and years of practice.

\--------------------------------

“Where’ve you been?” A soft lilting voice rings down the hallway, and he curses as Perrie comes around the corner, a huge smile on her face.

“Nowhere.” He says, dismayingly.

“You've been with the blonde one haven’t you? He’s cute, you should keep him.” Perrie lilts, leading Zayn down the hall.

“You shouldn’t be advising me on things that aren’t good for the company.” He snaps, but there’s no real derision behind it.

“Aww Z, you’re so rigid.” She coo’s and he watches her hips sway as she leads him up the hall.

“Where are you leading me, anyway?” He asks and she stops in front of him, her dress falling flat against her body and her hands falling to her sides.

“Your uncle. He’s been wondering where you disappeared off to…he’s already talked to Lou and Harry.” She says softly and he wants to run and hide like a scared little boy, but instead he holds his head high and catches her eye, giving her a small smile before straightening his shirt and running a hand over his stubble.

“Ask Louis and Haz to meet me in my office after this, okay Pez?” She nods and smooth’s out her dress before leaning up to kiss him on the cheek.

“Be careful Z.” And he sighs, his head ringing with Niall's voice, be careful be careful be careful.

He takes in a deep breath and grips the handle of the door, turning it and pushing the door inwards. He steps into the center of the room and stands in front of a large wooden desk, shuffling his feet.

“Zayn.” A gruff voice says, and he stares at him, taking in his tall stature and the way his dark face is covered in black hair. He’s menacing in his tailored black suit, standing with his hands placed palm down on the desk, leaning over and staring at Zayn, picking him apart.

“Unc-“

“Where have you been, Zayn?” He cuts him off, demanding an answer.

“I was…ah-“ he doesn’t have an answer and his uncle smirks at him, fire burning in his eyes.

“Your father trusted this company to you Zayn, and you would do well to follow the rules or else there will be consequences, understood?” He sneers.

“Understood.” Zayn says, standing tall and staring his uncle in the eye. He wont let him win, he cant.

“We’re done here…but Zayn, tread carefully.” His uncle says, and there’s that word again ‘careful’, coming from him it sounds like a threat and it sends a shiver up his spine.

“Yes sir.” He says as he turns on his heel and leaves the room, shutting the door behind him.

Zayn walks swiftly to his office, slipping inside and collapsing into the leather chair in the corner. He buries his head in his hands for a moment before looking up to spot Louis and Harry. Louis is seated on his desk, his fingers playing with Harry’s hair while he stares at Zayn, a smile teasing his lips.

“Patched things up the little Irish boy?” Louis smirks and he rests his chin on Harrys shoulder, wrapping his arms around him like a blanket.

“I guess, yeah.” He mutters and Harry smiles with his teeth, happy for him.

“Keep him around will you? He’s cute, seems good for you.”

“Well I’m bad for him Lou, I don’t know how I’m supposed to keep this goin’” He snaps, fiddling with his jacket, and picking at the leather of his armchair.

“Stop that, stop worrying Zayn, just…you can be happy with this business? Look at me n Haz, it’s hard but it’s good.” He says and a blush creeps up Louis cheeks as Harry moves his head and kisses Louis’s temple, pressing his forehead against him.

He sighs but he smiles nonetheless, thoughts of blood and guns fly out of his mind and instead are replaced by Nialls smile and his pale skin. Zayn wants to travel his skin, press his lips against every inch. Nip and suck until he’s red and spoiled and his.

He waves his hand and Louis and harry nod, leaving him alone in his office with his thoughts. He seats himself at his desk, fingering the various papers littering the surface, file after file. He stumbles across a older looking one, marked Devine. Theres an image taped to the front of the file and he runs his finger over the smooth surface. Josh looks worse for wear, but its a recent image, his piercing eyes staring into the distance, unaware that his image is being taken. It's all the proof he needs that Josh Devine is back in town, an occurrence that he thought would never happen. He brushes it aside and reaches for his phone, dialing a number and pressing send. While he waits for them to pick up, he fires a text off to Perrie, 'i'm going out tonight, i need a suit".

"Hullo?"

"Yeh babe, it's Zayn."

"What's going on?" His voice is clear and Zayn can practically hear the smile dancing over his pink lips.

"Nothing, are you free tonight?" He smiles and taps his desk, his phone lighting up with a winky face from Perrie, with the message 'should i get something for the leprechaun to wear as well?'.

"Yea?" he sends her back a 'yeah', and slips it back into his pocket,

"Good, we're going on a date."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW okay sorry i needed to add backstory, just seemed like i needed to throw an evil uncle into the mix like a proper disney fairytale (?)
> 
> lu xx


	6. my love, we're drowning in this ocean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He doesn’t look back as the car swings away, doesn't watch the best and worst thing in his life drive away.

Liam has been watching Niall rush through their flat all day, throwing clothes everywhere, even digging through Liam’s closet in the hopes of finding something, anything, to wear. He gets up from his cross-legged position on Nialls bed when there’s a knock on their door, thinking it’s one of Nialls friends, probably Nick. Instead he’s face to hair with a girl holding a large box, holding it out for him to take.

“You’re not blonde?” She asks and her voice sounds like bells, clear and high. She runs her fingers through her pale pink hair and taps her foot, shaking the box in his direction just a little.

“Er, no, that would be Niall, my roommate…what’s this?” He says, and she shoves the box into his hands, smiling wide with bright lips and shining teeth.

“You don’t look his type anyways, too muscly.” She laughs, reaching out to pinch his exposed bicep with long nails.

Liam just stares at her, and the playful smile slips from her lips, replaced instead by an impatient scowl.

“Just give it to Niall alright? And tell him to be ready for 7 sharp.” She winks as he takes the box from her, his eyes following her skirt as she saunters down the hall.

“Nialler! There’s a package here…it’s from Zayn I think.” The package is snatched from his hands in a flurry of blonde hair and pale skin.

Niall carefully unties the ribbon and opens the box, gasping like a child on Christmas when he reaches into the box and pulls out a tux. It’s midnight blue and by the looks of it, it costs more than their flat. In the box is a gold watch and cufflinks, along with a pair of shined shoes and a small slip of paper.

It’s written in girly handwriting, telling him his instructions for the evening and signed with a curling heart and a single name “Perrie”, underneath is a scrawled letter from Zayn, telling him to accept the gift and to not be stubborn about it.

“Liam Liam LIAM!”

“Yeah, Nialler?” Liam says, walking into Nialls room, tiptoeing around the clothes strewn all over the floor.

“He got me a suit and shoes and holy shit, a Rolex!?” He exclaims, bouncing up and down like a puppy.

“You know what that means right?”

“He’s rolling in dough?” Niall asks, his head tilting like a confused puppy.

“That too, but it means you’re going somewhere fancy and you can’t even eat in public without making a mess.” Liam laughs as he exits the room, leaving Niall freaking out on his bed.

“I hate you!” he yells out behind the closed door but Liam just laughs it off.

An hour passes and finally it’s time for the date, and as the clock ticks down to seven o’clock the doorbell rings and Niall launches himself for the door before Liam can get it. He flings the door open and is greeted with a well-muscled man, him arms crossed in front of his chest.

“Niall Horan?” The man asks, unfolding his arms and staring at him over his sunglasses. He thinks its rather absurd that this man is wearing sunglasses inside, but then again, he’s living in the shittiest part of town and yet he’s sporting a Rolex. It hasn’t been the strangest thing he’s seen all day, and most likely wont be his last.

“Er, yes, who’re you?”

“Paul, Mr. Malik’s driver.”

“I thought that was Harry?” He asks, tilting his head.

The man, 'Paul' his mind supplies, just chuckles and waves his hand, “Harry is a friend of Mr. Malik’s, he does drive him plenty but he’s otherwise occupied tonight.” The unspoken, occupied with Louis, rings clear in the weighted silence.

“How come Zayn’s not here himself?” He asks, as he follows Paul out into the dank hallway, and down the stairs.

“Think about it on the way down to the car, why don’t you Mr. Horan?”

Paul is clearly mocking him, and Niall finally figures out why his question was so absurd as the reach the first floor of the ancient complex. Zayn’s a dangerous man, catch him in a place like this, and shit is bound to go down.

The car Paul leads him to is dark and sleek, standing out like a beacon on the side of his street full of druggies and the underprivileged. He feels self-conscious, even though Zayn’s been to his apartment before, he hadn’t really thought about how horrid his living conditions looked like compared to how Zayn’s must look.

The door opens and he lets out a shaky breath as Zayn looks up from his phone with a cheeky grin playing across his lips. Niall smiles back, all teeth, and seats himself in the back next to Zayn.

“Hey babe.” Zayn says, his voice like velvet.

“Hey.” He replies, shy and quiet.

Zayn just chuckles before grasping Nialls hand in his, leaning forward to direct Paul to their location. They speak in hushed whispers while Niall leans back in his seat, watching the way his pale skin contrasts with Zayn’s tan skin.

The restaurant they pull up to soon after is absolutely gorgeous and Niall voices as much, his hand gripping Zayn’s bicep. Paul opens the door for him and helps him out, the whole time he’s gaping like a fish.

“Z, this is something out of a fairytale.” Zayn just grimaces before setting his lips into a thin line.

“Love, fairytales don’t exist.” Niall stares at him quizzically as they enter the restaurant and are ushered to a table in the corner.

They sit in a comfortable silence; sipping the wine the waiter brought them. Zayn holds his hand gently over the table, and Niall is watching him with a mix of wonderment and pure love. Zayn orders for him, which he finds strange at first, but the food that’s brought is amazing, so he doesn’t complain.

The happiness is cut short by the sound of a gunshot ringing out loud and clear in the quiet atmosphere of the restaurant. An elderly lady gasps and falls to the ground, shocked. Niall stares open eyed at Zayn, who is murmuring fuck over and over. Another shot rings out and Zayn yanks Niall up out of his seat and pulls him into the kitchen. Niall is crying, the tears falling down as they sprint through the kitchen staff. They reach the back door and explode through it, stopping against the wall as Zayn shoves a piece of wood into the handle to hold it in place. He presses Nialls body up against the cold brick and holds him in place with his hands next to each ear.

“Z...?”

“I’m so sorry babe.” He murmurs as he pulls a gun from his waistband.

Niall gasps and Zayn pulls him closer so his confused mumbling is buried in the shoulder of Zayn’s suit coat. There’s a pause and soon after it, Zayn begins speaking in a low, agitated voice. He’s on the phone, Niall realizes, his strangled mumbling fading into shaky breaths.

“Harry, get us out of here, now.”

_“Wha- I thought you were on a date-“_

“It’s been compromised, shots have been fired.”

At that, Harry confirms Zayn’s location and ends the call quickly and efficiently. Zayn’s still holding the gun, hidden against his side in case the police show up before Harry does and he needs to explain his whereabouts. The back alley isn’t the most innocent looking location one could choose during a posed robbery.

Harry soon shows up, screeching to a halt with Louis in the front seat, his eyes gleaming with anger. Niall doesn't have to ask to know that Louis is already planning a revenge attack; it’s the way his evil, twisted mind works.

As they pull away out into the night, Niall rubs his eyes gently and when Zayn tries to hold his hand, he yanks his own away and plants it firmly under his thigh.

“Harry, can you drop me home?” He says in a small voice, tired and bitter. 

“Niall…”

“I’d like to go home, please.”

“Okay.”

Once they pull up to his apartment complex, Harry rushes out to open his door for him and he gingerly steps out, pausing a moment to throw Zayn a sad sort of smile before shutting the door.

He doesn’t look back as the car swings away, doesn't watch the best and worst thing in his life drive away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so sorry this took ages but i lost my inspiration so maybe y'all could help? throw some ideas out and i'll see what i can do with them!
> 
> thanks, sarah xx


	7. you're a gentle kiss that breaks my defenses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A week is all it takes for everything to go sour.

Zayn expects it, expects the silence, but it doesn’t make it any less horrible when Niall doesn’t call or text. It’s almost like the pale, blue-eyed boy has up and disappeared from his life, falling out as quickly as he fell in. He curses himself countless times for being such an idiot. 

         So Zayn, being the ever-efficient businessman he is, throws himself into his work with a new resolve. He’s never been one to bloody his hands, but lately he comes home with blood soaked sleeves and dirt on his dress shirt. He gets dirty, enjoys getting dirty. The feeling on crunching bones under his fist gives him a rush he's never felt before. Sometimes he even pictures the face under his fist is his uncle. He does it all to forget for a minute that Niall brought a light into his world, a light he's not sure he's even seen before. He's not sure he'll ever get it back, to be honest. 

He forgets Niall for a week. A week is all it takes for everything to go sour.

         The note is stuck in their post box when he gets home from a particularly nasty job at the wharf. It’s on plain white paper, typed with a typewriter and folded over twice to fit in an envelope. The envelope itself immediately concerns Zayn. He doesn’t get private mail, and no one else lives with him. Second, it’s addressed to no one, and doesn’t have a return address. He figures he should leave it for his uncle; maybe they’ve been mistaken for each other. But when he flips it over he notices a simple ZM printed onto the closure. 

He rips it open with shaking fingers, and his blood runs cold as he takes in the skewed printed words.

 

WE HAVE YOUR BOY. YOU HAVE 24 HOURS TO MEET OUR DEMANDS OR HE DIES. EXPECT A CALL AT 9AM, YOUR TIME STARTS THEN.

 TICK TOCK ZAYN.

 

            He shivers and promptly throws up onto the grass. He’s dealt with these kinds of situations before, usually been the cause of them. But right now he’s scared, so fucking scared. He hasn’t seen Niall in a week, but it feels like ages.

 He immediately calls Louis, and as it rings he imagines what Niall is going through, scared and all alone.

“Hullo”

“Wake up Lou.”

“Wha, ya jus’ woke me up, ‘course I am-“

“Louis.” He perks up instantly at this and Zayn can hear him shuffling over the line, Harry’s gravelly voice travelling in the background as Louis shushes him.

“What is it, Zayn?”

 “Someone’s…someone’s taken Niall.”

 “Give me details, everything.” There’s the tell tale click of a light turning on and Zayn hears himself being put on speakerphone as Louis rustles for clothes.

 “There’s gonna be a call at 9, they…” his voice cracks, “they gave me 24 hours, 30 really, counting between now and 9 but- Lou, I can’t lose him.”

“I’m on my way, bringing Haz with me too. We’ll make some calls while I drive.” 

“No, no calls, not yet. I don’t know what they want and I don’t want to do anything to jeopardize Nialls life.”

“Alright boss, be there in a jiff.” He says with finality, and Louis starts the engine.

“I’ll...I’ll be in my office.” 

“No you won’t, listen, take a shower, and do something to occupy yourself, okay? Clean yourself up.” Louis hangs up then, knowing Zayn will do as he’s told.

            He trudges into his too-big, empty home and doesn’t bother flicking on any lights as he makes his way up the stairs and into his bedroom, turning on a light once he reaches his connected bathroom. The mirror doesn’t hide anything. He’s all sharp lines and sunken, dark-ringed eyes, with blood smeared through his eyebrow like he wiped his face. He strips with shaking hands covered in dried blood and he feels wrecked, completely gone. He steps gingerly into the shower, letting the scalding hot water wash away any evidence of his most recent job. 

            His knuckles are split open and bruised, their rawness stinging under the steady stream of the water. Zayn let’s the water run through his hair and down his arms, tracing his tattoos. He pauses on his left arm, the tiny yin-yang sign pressed into the skin above his wrist. It’s Nialls favorite, and he digs his nails into it, watching his skin turn red where the ink doesn’t touch.

 

_“Y’know your tattoo-” Niall starts, his tongue pressing against his cheek, distorting his words. Zayn smiles at him through the phone, a warm feeling spreading through his chest._

_“Love, I have a lot, you’re gonna have to be more specific.” Niall giggles and huffs impatiently, his voice gravelly over the line._

_“The circle one, with the black and white...the uh, ying-yan?” Zayn imagines him like a puppy, his head tilted to one side with a confused look on his face._

_“Yin-yang, love, but what about it?”_

_“Kinda reminds me of us,” Niall pauses, and Zayn can tell he’s blushing over the word ‘us’ as he stumbles over his words, “it’s like when you hold my hand and we contrast so nicely, not just our skin but like, y’know…and you’re- we’re different but we fit.” He whispers the end, and Zayn knows he’s nervous, spilling his heart out._

_“We fit, love, we fit so well.” Zayn says through a wide smile, pure adoration in his eyes as Niall giggles happily._

 

He doesn’t get out of the shower until the waters run cold and Harry finds him where he’s sunk to the floor of it, sitting in a damp pool with his knees pulled up to his chest, lost in thought. He holds out a towel and lets Zayn take it slowly, giving him a soft but determined smile before exiting the bathroom.

He takes his time in his room, selecting his clothes carefully, skipping over the Henley that Niall loved so much. He gets dressed in black pants and a grey dress shirt tucked neatly in, his hair slicked back how it usually is. Once he’s dressed and making his way back downstairs he finally feels in control of the situation with only five hours until he gets a call. _Tick Tock._

 He walks into his office and Harry and Louis startle from where they’re hunched over, reading the letter over and over.

 “Listen, Lou, Harry, do not, under any circumstance, tell my Uncle-“

 “Zayn, I really think we could use his help-“

 “No, Harry.”

His tone is sharp, and Harry sinks under his piercing gaze.

“Yes boss.”

            Zayn seats himself at his desk and begins compiling a list of his enemies with careful precision. As his pen glides along the paper Harry and Louis go through his files, pulling names and pictures of recent busts. As the minutes trickle by, the list gets longer and Zayn gets more tired.

“What do we do once the list is done, Z?”

He cringes, looking up from where his fingers are stained with ink.

“We wait for a call.”

Harry and Louis nod in synch before looking at the clock hanging on the wall. Only 3 hours to go.

Waiting turns out to be excruciatingly hard, each minute passing by is another minute where Niall is gone, and most likely in pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all asked, and I gave, I hope you like it so far!


	8. you took off before the ink dried on my hands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Yes, princess, you’re only the beginning of the fun. The real fun starts when Malik gets his skull blown open.” Niall cringes at his harsh tone, biting through the soft skin of his lip so it bleeds into his mouth.

Niall wakes up to his own choking, his blood speckling the concrete floor in front of him. He moans and goes to raise a hand, panicking when he can’t move his arms. He looks down and notices them tied behind him with rough rope that’s sticking into his pale skin. It all comes rushing back, and he groans, easing his head back so it rests on the wall behind him, his sweat matted hair falling slick against his forehead.

 

“Fuck.” He whimpers, his throat dry and his mouth slick with blood, an odd combination that makes his stomach churn.

 

            He only has a few minutes before the man in black comes back in, he notes as the clock on the far wall ticks close to 8 am. He’s counted five days now, watching the hands tick around, blurring his vision if he focuses too hard.

 

            Like clockwork, he hears the handle of the door start to jiggle as a key is inserted. The door slams open and reveals his worst nightmare. His living nightmare. Josh Devine steps into view and he slips his head back down so his chin rests on his chest, his breath haggardly coming through his nose.

 

“Morning sunshine!’ He exclaims, his overly happy voice making Niall cringe, his hands tightening into sweat slick fists.

 

Niall doesn’t answer him, just huffs out a breath against his own chest, rolling his eyes. He’s defiant even on the edge of death.

 

“Fucking brat.” Josh sneers, nodding to a man in the corner who steps forward, cracking his knuckles.

 

            Niall has a second to close his eyes before he gets a metal-coated fist to his stomach. Once, twice…three times. Tears prick at his eyes and his lip trembles. He pulls his lip into his mouth and worries the skin there, eyes shut tight as he awaits another fist.

 

“Enough Beales, we don’t need a pretty dead doll for when Malik gives us a visit.” Niall’s eyes fly open at the mention of Zayn. Up until now, he’d thought Zayn wouldn’t know where he was.

 

“Yes, _princess_ , you’re only the beginning of the fun. The real fun starts when Malik gets his skull blown open.” Niall cringes at his harsh tone, biting through the soft skin of his lip so it bleeds into his mouth.

  

          He’s nearing the edge of consciousness, the blows to his stomach shaking his brain in his skull. The nausea hits him and he vomits onto the cold concrete floor, dry heaving and spitting out blood.

 

 He blacks out as Josh closes the door, plunging him back into darkness.

 

* * *

 

            Zayn has successfully evaded the police and the news crews wondering why innocent Niall Horan is missing. His friend, Liam Payne, has stopped calling him and leaving him voicemails. He replays them over again, listening to the sadness laced into the boy’s voice, cringing at the harsh words he mutters out in his tear-soaked voice.

 

“ _You…you fucking bastard. You did this to Niall, you took him from me. It has to be you…you’re horrible for leading Niall into this shit. I don’t know what you did, but you better get him back. Or I’ll kill you myself.”_

 

            He’s left with no doubts that Liam was the one who called the cops on him; the one’s who have started a mile long investigation into his private life. He’s tried to convey that they’re making matters worse, but they won’t listen to him. No one will.

 

It’s then that Louis bursts into his office, flicking the light on to reveal Harry standing behind him, both of them panting hard.

 

“What is it?” Zayn says, harshly.

 

“We…we’ve, ah shit Z, I think we found him.” Louis grins and Zayn beckons them over, his eyes flashing to the folder in Louis’ hand and the map clenched in Harry’s massive fist.

 

“Show me.”

 

            Harry spreads the map on the desk and Louis opens the folder, clearing his throat before launching into his idea. Harry seats himself on the corner of the desk and watches Louis intently, sometimes pointing to an area on the map or adding a small detail to Louis’ complicated plot.

 

“Devine, I’m sure it’s Devine. Remember when he cut off our shore transfer? He came back for a reason, he came back for you.” Zayn huffs.

 

“I found an unregistered office building downtown, right alongside our drop zone, the only place we wouldn’t think of checking,” Louis gestures with a finger to the wharf, “turns out one of our men is good friends with Sandy Beales, an old friend of Devine’s back when he worked for your father. Beales has been photographed in town, along with Hood and Hemmings, the two idiots who nearly sold us out in 2010.”

 

“Shoulda killed em when I had the chance.” Harry murmurs, his fist tightening in his lap. Louis leans over to wrap his fingers around Harry’s hand, a silent gesture that visibly calms him.

 

“Let’s go then, now. It’s late, we’ll have the element of surprise.” Zayn says as he stands up, opening his desk drawer and pulling out a glock.

 

“Z, it’s too clean to not be a trap, you know this.” Louis advises, pointing out the details on the papers strewn across Zayn’s desk.

 

“Who cares, if they want to catch me they will, I only care about getting Niall out.” He says through gritted teeth, his eyes cold and his jaw set.

 

“Damnit Zayn.” Louis sighs, running fingers through his unkempt hair, already resolved to going with Zayn. He’s with him til he dies, and he doesn’t have to look at Harry to know he’s in too.

 

“My word is final, suit up.” Zayn grins, strutting out of his office with his head high.

 

“He’s really in love with this boy, isn’t he?” Harry mutters, gripping Louis’ hand tighter, pulling Louis between his legs and pressing his lips into his hair.

 

“Zayn wouldn’t die for anyone else.” Louis says and Harry smiles, capturing Louis’ lips into a heated kiss before they leave the office to grab their guns and inform their men.

 

Harry sighs once more, staring into Zayn’s office as he shuts the lights off. There’s a picture of Niall on the desk, staring back at him with his bright eyes, his smile blinding. _If only he knew what he was getting into._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this was so late but I just finished my term papers and finals for uni so I've been super busy, hopefully this chapter will suffice. 
> 
> xx


	9. I just can't wait for love to destroy us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Dreaming…’m dreaming.”

 Niall’s a bit broken. He’s smiling and laughing with Liam one second and then he’s jolted awake by a loud bang and his head is yanked back by his grimy tresses.

 

“Fuck…” He manages to spit, his voice coming out cracked through his chapped lips. 

 

“Wake up, babes, we’re moving you.” He cringes at _babes_ , but shoots up instantly at the thought of moving. _Zayn’s found me._

 

It’s the only conclusion he can come up with, the only conclusion he can deal with right now. He's too close to the ever present idea of  _death_ to think that maybe, just maybe, they're killing him off before Zayn shows up. He shakes it from his head and it spins from the lack of air in his lungs. 

 

They cut him free and pull him to his feet, not bothering to tie his hands, as they know he’s no longer a threat. There’s hardly any fight left in him. This is proven when he tries to take a shaky step and crumbles to the ground. As he tries to brace his fall with his hands he hears a sickening crunch and whimpers, curling in on himself in a desperate attempt to stop the burning sensation.

 

“Idiot.” Devine scoffs from his spot in the corner. Niall sneers at him through the throbbing pain.

 

The walk is short, up through the door in the corner of the room and into a hall and into another, smaller room. But it’s infinitely long to Niall. They hardly support him as he limps and whimpers through the dank hall and into the tiny, dark room.

 

They shove him into the corner of the damp, steel coated room, and shut the door, plunging him into infinite darkness. He sobs quietly, wet tears splashing over his chapped lips, the salt making them sting. He pulls his knees to his chest and nurses his broken wrist, leaning his head against the wall and crying.

 

Several hours later the door opens and he has a moment of hope, which is crushed instantly by a plastic tray being shoved into the room complete with a glass of water and a butter sandwich. He’s once again plunged into darkness as he crawls across the floor blindly towards the tray. He almost knocks over the water, but thankfully he grips it just in time and pulls it to his lips shakily.

 

The bread and butter hurts his weak stomach and he whimpers when he tries to pick it apart using his weak wrist. He throws it against a wall and wails, weak and all alone.

  

* * *

 

 

Zayn’s impatient, horribly so. But then again, so are Harry and Louis, who are shifting from side to side as subtly as they can. Which, to say, isn't very subtle at all. They never are. 

 

 They’re currently staring down several of Devine’s men in front of a battered warehouse, both parties holding guns up at the ready. They’re waiting for something, anything, to happen. It’s excruciatingly painful, the deafening silence between the two groups of men.

 

The previous ten minutes or so was a fast paced blur. Pulling up in black BMWs, tearing into the dirt courtyard. The men running towards them, semi-automatics aimed at chest height. The rush of his own men as they pile out of the vehicles, their own guns aimed. The overwhelming tense silence that somehow seemed to envelope the group. They know exactly whom they’re waiting for.

 

Josh Devine and his hostage, precious, innocent Niall Horan.

 

They get exactly what they’re waiting for in the form of a door swinging open and tiny, emaciated Niall falling into a heap in the dirt. He yelps and quickly pulls his arm into his chest, cradling his wrist that is currently bent at an odd angle. He squints his eyes up at the bright sun, the brightness making it impossible for him to focus.

 

Zayn moves, taking a small step forward. Louis grips his arm tight and yanks him back as they hear the infamous click of a safety unlocking, the gun pointed directly at Zayn’s forehead. He hisses and curses but steps back, lowering his gun a little.

 

Devine motions to one of his men behind him and they hoist Niall up, dragging him towards the two parties, his bare feet dragging loosely through the dirt. He’s pale and tiny usually, but Zayn gasps in horror as Niall gets closer and closer to him. He’s covered in dried blood, filth, and sweat. His clothes, the same clothes he wore on their date, Zayn notes in horror, hangs loosely off his tiny frame. Dried blood is caked under his nose and over one black eye. He has dark circles under his eyes and his lips are painfully chapped looking and hanging open slightly. Devine’s man drops him onto his knees in between the two gangs and he promptly curls into himself.

 

“Niall.” Zayn says, barely a whisper, but Niall perks up instantly, blinking around until he focuses on the source of the voice.

 

“Dreaming…’m dreaming.” He mumbles and slumps over again onto the dirt.

 

            Devine comes into view then and raises his boot to knock Niall over, placing his foot on the space between his shoulder blades and pushing so he splays out.

 

“The fuck do you want, Devine.” Zayn seethes.

 

“Oh Zayn, so sorry you have to see your princess like this.” Devine laughs, wild and tinged with poison.

 

“Tell me what you want Devine, I’ll give it to you in exchange for Ni- for the boy.” He cringes internally but remains as stoic as he can.

 

“You.” He sneers. 

 

“What?” Harry yells, but Zayn quickly puts an arm out to stop him from leaping forward.

 

“You want to kill me, correct?” 

 

“I want to take your empire, every last scrap, but yes, Malik, first, I want to kill you.” Zayn grimaces but steps forward, handing his gun to Louis as he goes.

 

“You fucking bastard.” Louis hisses, raw emotion seeping into his voice. Zayn is more than a boss to him, he's a brother and a loyal friend. Losing him would be like losing a part of himself. 

 

“Control your watchdogs Malik.” Devine laughs, enjoying every moment. 

 

“First, you hand over the boy, then you can get what you want.” Zayn grits out, pointing to the small body in the dirt. 

 

Niall writhes in the ground under Devine’s foot and stares up as Zayn gets closer to him. Noting the defeat on his face, he cries out.

 

“Please Zayn, no!” His voice is worn, but he presses on, “don’t do this for me, please.”

 

            Zayn promptly ignores him in favor of stepping further towards Devine. Devine nods once and one of his men grabs Niall and throws him in front of Zayns men, where he curls up in front of Louis and Harry. They immediately crouch and tend to him the best they can.

 

            One of Devine’s men grips Zayn harshly by the shoulders and swings him around, pushing him onto his knees as the barrel of a gun is pressed into his skull. He winces and closes his eyes, catching one last glimpse of Nialls worried face before he succumbs to the darkness behind his eyelids.

 

            Seconds pass and he hears the click of the safety being unlocked and he squeezes his eyes tighter and prays as he waits for death. _Allah, –_

It doesn’t come.

 

Instead, he’s wrenched upwards and into a tight grip that he first struggles from until realizing that it is a hug.

 

“You’re a fucking idiot, Zayn Malik.” A female voice scolds and he blinks his eyes open until he notices his visions obstructed by bright hair and gaudy earrings.

 

“Perrie…how?” Zayn pushes away from her grip and stares at her expectant face.

 

“Questions for later, love, lets get you and your boys outta here, alright?” He nods absently and looks around, watching as men in black suits, men he recognizes as his Uncles men, incapacitating Devine and his gang.

 

“Niall…Niall!” He yells, and looks around wildly, panic rushing over him when he can’t find him.

 

“On his way to the hospital already love, come with me.” Perrie ushers him into one of the black BMWs and whisks him away, his stomach twisting and turning.

 

He's sobbing before they leave the lot, this chest heaving and his breath coming out in short puffs as he clutches at his chest. 

 

* * *

 

 

They make it to the hospital and Zayn sobs when he stares through the glass window into the operating room.

 

Niall is laid out on the table, his heartbeat is faint and tubes are sticking out of everywhere. Fuck composure, Niall’s like a broken doll on the table, and the last thing he needs to think about is maintaining a public image. But Perrie pulls him away quietly anyways, into a corner of the hospital so he can sit and sob and screech into her shoulder, relying on her like he always has. She’s like a sister to him, strong and beautiful.

 

“Please Niall, please be okay.” He whimpers into the quiet of Perrie’s shoulder, the darkness of the corner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so so so so so sorry this took so long, I'm a tit. But to be fair, i've been trying to juggle two jobs and transferring over to another for the summer, so my life's a bit hectic. And I'm in uni for the summer as well, doing a course. 
> 
> Sorry if this chapter is a bit shit, I really am grasping at strings to try and make this not seem like a load of crock but it's still really unresearched, woops. 
> 
> Sarah xx


	10. it could take a bit of time to heal this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His voice is hopeful, and Liam can’t help but want to pick him up and cuddle him, tell him that the probability of Zayn coming is slim to none. But he can’t, because Niall is so hopeful, and he can’t break him anymore than Zayn already has.

It was touch and go at first, and no one really thought he’d make it through. But miraculously he made it through, the internal bleeding finally stopping, and his ribs finally healing. Liam’s there with him everyday when he’s not working. Louis sometimes visits, and sometimes harry does at well. But Zayn, Zayn never visits when Niall can see him. Harry told him as much when Niall had a fit, screaming that Zayn never visited him. He explained that Zayn is scared and sometimes cowardly, but mostly sorry, so sorry.

            He’s okay though, truly. His ribs hurt, and sometimes it’s hard to breathe, and his appetite has gone down a lot because his stomach had shrunk to deal with the lack of food from before. The only thing really wrong with him is the nightmares and Devine’s face engraved in the back of his eyelids. Zayn’s face too, the closed eyes, the quivering lip, the gun pressed to the back of his head.

Everything is so hard, and Niall is eternally grateful for all the help he’s been given.

 

* * *

 

Niall is waiting not so patiently in his bed, his hands wringing the crisp, white sheets laid over his chest as he watches Liam stare around the room with a blank face. He’s tried handling the situation as gently as he can, because, well, Niall is hurt but at least he has him back. The first time he saw Niall after the kidnapping, he thought he was dead, he thought his best friend was dead. But now, he’s forever grateful that Niall is back with him, back and alive and smiling again. Niall on the other hand, is watching him anxiously.

 

“Niall-“

 

“I’ll explain in a bit once Zayn get’s here.” His voice is hopeful, and Liam can’t help but want to pick him up and cuddle him, tell him that the probability of Zayn coming is slim to none. But he can’t, because Niall is so hopeful, and he can’t break him anymore than Zayn already has.

 

“Ni-“ Liam says, doubt laced in his words. He wants to know why Niall was gone, wants to know why he weighs so little and why his cheekbones are poking out of his tiny cheeks. He’s scared and confused all at once, a mixture of emotions he doesn’t like much at all.

 

“I will, just please, don’t say anything you’ll regret before we explain.” Hell, he doesn’t even know if he can explain. Doesn’t even know if Zayn will come back while he’s actually awake. It’s only ever been visits while he’s knocked out by painkillers.

 

            Liam kicks a chair next to him and huffs exasperatingly, crossing his arms over his broad chest. They stay there together but not saying anything, and Nialls eyes are trained on the door. It creaks open moments later and Liam turns to stare to see who is going to enter. It’s not Zayn, however, and Niall is visibly disappointed.

 

Louis and Harry enter the room much to Liam’s confusion, connected by Louis’ smaller hand on the edge of Harry’s leather jacket.

 

“What the-“ Louis mutters, slipping his hand from his hold on Harry’s jacket, moving forward away from Harry as they both walk into the room. He raises his hands til they’re almost level with Liam’s face, lowering them again when Harry clears his throat.

 

“Lou!?” Liam exclaims, breaking the heavy silence.

 

            Liam steps further away from where he’s standing in front of Niall’s bed, walking toward Louis until they’re almost toe to toe, staring at him like he’s not quite sure he’s real or not, he raises his hand to touch him then puts it down again.

 

“You know each other?” Niall asks, staring at them both.

 

“I…yeah, we dated for a while.” Louis mumbles, a blush creeping up his cheeks as he moves from side to side.

 

Harry gapes at Louis, running his fingers through his hair as he waits for Louis to say something, anything.

 

“We, yeah, we dated.” Liam confirms and Harry mutters something incoherent and shoves his hands in his pockets.

 

“That’s an interesting turn of events, I suppose none of you really need an introduction then?” Niall laughs nervously, looking around for Zayn, praying he pops up soon to ease the tension.

 

“I’d like one.” Harry drawls, looking at Liam with piercing eyes.

 

“Alright then,” Niall says with a slight shake to his words, “Harry, this is Liam Payne, my best mate in the world, and Liam, this is-“

 

“Harry, Harry Styles. Louis’ boyfriend.” He says, his tone sharp, reaching out his hand for Liam to shake. Liam stares at his outstretched hand for a moment before grasping it and shaking it firmly. Harry squeezes Liam’s hand tightly, til a flash of pain crosses Liam’s face and he lets go, his smile smug.

 

            His smile falls when he tries to put his arm around Louis’ waist and he jerks away from him, refusing his touch. Harry stares at him a moment before averting his eyes, sinking back several steps, pulling his jacket tighter around his body. They stand awkwardly until the door creaks open and a nurse walks through, her tiny heels the only noise between them.

 

“Oh love, you really shouldn’t have so many visitors.”

 

“I’m feeling fine, Anne, really, I’d like to see my friends, if you don’t mind.” He’s genuinely nice to her, and Louis and Harry are once again thrown back by how gentle and kind the boy really is. He even knows his nurses by name, though he’s only been out of the ICU for several days.

 

“Alright, love, press the button if you need anything, I’ll be back in a half hour to check your vitals.” She waves a little before flitting out of the door, and Niall sighs as the door begins to close again.

 

It doesn’t get far when a heavy boot catches it before it closes fully and a dark hand curls around it to push it open.

 

“Zayn.” Niall whispers, and Zayn crosses the room towards him, kissing him on the temple before slipping his hand into Niall’s, a silent gesture that leaves Niall light.

 

            The room is filled with an uneasy static then and Niall keeps running through every moment, every date Liam has ever been on. Louis has to be Liam’s first boyfriend, his only one really, the one that up and left him, leaving Niall to pick up his broken pieces and put him together again. He can’t imagine his Louis also being Liam’s Louis; the thought hurts him and makes him regret having Harry and Louis come when they did.

 

            Zayn’s hand is heavy in his, and the awkwardness between them is even heavier. This is the first time they’ve touched constantly in almost a week, and Zayn can’t even look him in the eye. They don’t speak though, and Zayn curls tight into Niall’s side until Zayn’s arm is wrapped around his waist, just under where the bandages around his ribs end.

 

The silence is deafening, and Niall watches as Louis opens the door and gestures for both men to follow him like eager puppies, leaving Zayn and Niall alone.

 

“Z?” Zayn just buries his head deeper into Niall’s shoulder, his eyes watching Niall’s mouth like a hawk.

 

“I’m not mad, y’know. Confused and a little scared mostly, but not mad.”

 

“You’re…you’re not?”

 

“No, Zayn, ‘m hurt, and tired, and quite frankly I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep with the lights off for a long time, but I’m not mad, not at you.” He laughs despite himself, shaking Zayn’s body along with his until he cringes as the stitches pull.

 

“You really ought to be.” Zayn grumbles as he watches Niall wince and curse in pain, pain he inadvertently caused.

 

Niall motions for him to sit up then and he does, one arm braced over Niall’s body, facing him with somber eyes as his hair falls flat.

 

“This…this isn’t your fault, Zayn. Your past mistakes do not define you.” Niall says solemnly, his hands cupping Zayn’s cheeks, his thumb rubbing gentle circles over his cheekbones.

 

“I’ll never stop being sorry, not until I die.” He’s crying now, soft tears rolling down his cheeks, over Niall’s fingers.

 

“I would’ve backed out a long time ago if I didn’t know that you were worth the risk, it takes a lot of nerve to date a mob boss.” He giggles and Zayn grips his hand and kisses his palm, his eyes fluttering closed.

 

“You’re amazing, Niall Horan, one of a kind.”

 

“It’d be amazing if you’d kiss me right now, I miss you.” Niall grins, and Zayn surges forward, gently connecting their lips. He feels just how he remembers. Soft and undeniably perfect. He shakes any apprehension away and deepens the kiss, paying careful mind to the bandages covering over half of Niall’s body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It'll prob be two more chapters then done? maybe one more, and an epilogue sort of thing, for a few years down the road? 
> 
> xx

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave me any comments/criticisms and let me know some things you'd like to see in the fic (I'm always open to new ideas)!
> 
> Love y'all, Sarah
> 
> (also, my twitter is zayniallcuddles! casual shameless self promotion ayyy)


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